im sad. not emo, just sad, very sad. i just dont understand you people. i never said that you were an online junkie? wasn't reffering to you. and you doubted me without knowing who i was really talking about. im sad that you think of me like that. i never looked down on people. its the other way around. if you really want that then so be it. i have heard and seen enough already. so what if you're one? you're still a human being who has pride and dignity right? many people likes to play pool. not only those type of people play. i play pool occasionaly. i was just asking that time. never thought of anything else. and you thought i was talking bad about you. its practically two different person! you're not the only one who is sad you know. things you say sometimes make me sad too. why would you even bother now? dont you ever regret of saying bad things about people and wanting to make it up to them. i did. i tried my best. to ren and ren and ren like you said. i listen to you. but now, after you said that i dont think i can anymore. you, thinking and saying things of me that way make me feel sad and hurt sometimes. i tried so many times to not show my sadness and think positively that it would be different one day. i took the initiative to message. and if i hadn't done so. you wouldn't even bother to message me for the whole week. or you wouldn't reply them. i've tried it. and its true. i waited for so long, till i finally gave in. and when i asked, you said you forgot or was to busy? or i dont know. that made me really sad. i moved on, hoping that you would change. as you told me before. oh many things happened during then. but i just couldn't tell you. i hate it when i talk and you dont reply. yah you reply, after and hour or two when you're finished with your game and you go offline just like that. has it ever occured to you that a message could make a person happy. a smile would be nice. but what's gotten into you? you were like my best friend, but now all i think is that you dont trust me. what's the point without trust? i cant do anything. i loved you, as a friend, a great one and i never gave up on you. you said i had attitude, i changed, but have you? were you just lying to me all this while? probably im just some person in your life, but im still a human, with feelings and emotions. what's wrong if you play audition? doesn't mean you play it means you're one. theres no rule about that. i have no point ignoring you. even if i did, you wouldn't care. you would have just pretended i never existed and just continue with your life like anybody else would do. im just some person who just so happens to play audition too. i really cannot stand it. i've been accused all the time for doing things i have not done. trying to explain wont help but it will only make matters worse, at times. i sent letters to you cause i cared. no one has ever sent me a letter. nobody would. why? cause they dont care. people would be happy to receive a letter from someone who cares. im not saying that you should. its a waste of your time anyways. really, if you bothered about it, i wouldn't be sad at all but happy about all the things that has happened. it bonds people together. now i really wonder, why do things have to be so hard for me. the sadness can never be forgotten. so yah. be it, the way that you always were. goodnight, love.